There have been quite a few changes since I last actively posted. I got employed! Which is pretty cool. Sure there are still struggles; anytime a brown person enters an environment dominated by white culture obstacles are inherent to the paths forward. I moved out of the house in which I was living; while we're taking the landlord to court! The struggle never seems to end. Though I've also finally received the last piece I need to apply for a mortgage. Maintaining balance is a continual process of acclimation.
Though my heart feels more at peace with the road we are walking. Wikipedia now has a page documenting the intricacies of the language my blood once fluently knew. This has been an incredible revelation. Spanish never felt like my mother tongue, was always awkward; it is the language of slavers! Far too many times I was admonished for not speaking Spanish fluently; I no longer feel any shame. There are a great many other things I know, of which many others may never have even a passing familiarity.
And I am gaining some comfort with this latter allegation. My life experiences have oft been, and seemingly remain, far from normal. Even today, in my daily interactions, the exclamations I receive from people are... I'm happy I am at least making people smile more often than not. I have been blessed with a relatively quick mind, and a warm smile; that is worth more than I once thought. Though from those who covet such attributes; I know not fully now to deal with them. I wish that I could give them my experiences, a price has been paid, and continues to be paid.
Regardless, I am currently listening to music, sitting in a office where I am comfortable (for the most part), with a warm bed, and nourishment to which I will return at the day's end. I'm living with a single mother and her 5 year old son at present; it is a wonderful month-to-month arrangement. She is a multi-racial individual, as is her child; it is a welcoming environment. Tomorrow I will wake with a work to do, and growth to pursue. I'd be a greater fool than I already am, to complain!